Now, some of my favorite quotes from Connie Rossini's book:
~ ONE ~This is the goal to work towards. You may not see much measurable progress in the years you have with your child. His reluctance to talk about his feelings often makes him reject any suggestions you give about controlling his anger. But if you can start the conversation with him, making him aware of his need to change, he will begin thinking about ways he can attack this problem. Give him time. Show him that you can be patient. Commend him for his insights. Do not nag or lecture him.
~ TWO ~Besides the intellectual formation of knowing what is right, your child needs to form habits of virtuous behavior. The habits of childhood can last a lifetime. When these habits are reinforced by the virtuous examples of others, they provide the foundation for a spiritual life.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church says:
It is important for every person to be sufficiently present to himself in order to hear and follow the voice of his conscience. This requirement of interiority is all the more necessary as life often distracts us from any reflection, self-examination, or introspection.
Studying and working on temperamental issues with your child can lead him to be more reflective, so that he can hear the voice of his conscience and respond to it.
~ THREE ~A choleric sometimes needs to be shown how a change will benefit him. For example, if he learns to praise rather than criticize others, they will more willingly join in his cause. If he learns to argue fairly and calmly, you will listen to his point of view. If he becomes humble, he could be a great saint. If you are not choleric yourself, you may find it distasteful to have to address the “what’s-in-it-for-me” question. Try not to see this as a selfish question, but just the way your child’s mind works. It is useless to try to motivate him as if he were a sanguine, phlegmatic, or melancholic.
~ FOUR ~The Christian faith is not just an academic subject, and you don’t want your children to think of it as one. Although it’s vitally important to know about the faith, knowledge is just the beginning. The Catechism tells us we were made to know, love, and serve God. Notice, it doesn’t say know the faith but know God. We learn the faith in order to have an intimate relationship with God through Jesus Christ. The Church teaches us how. Then we must practice it.
~ FIVE ~By letting your choleric have an increasing say in his education, you are teaching him that learning is interesting and rewarding. You help him continue seeking knowledge and personal growth throughout his life.
~ SIX ~Prayer is at the heart of the spiritual life, no matter what age a person is. The most important prayer is the Holy Mass. Your faithful attendance at Mass on Sundays and Holy Days of Obligation, as well as your active participation in the liturgy, show your child the importance of the church’s prayer. Study together the different parts of the Mass, the meaning of the words of the Creed, and some of the common Latin phrases used – even if you attend Mass in English.
~ SEVEN ~“The choleric has little sense of his shortcomings. He believes that he can do anything if he makes up his mind to it. He is liable to make prayer an intellectual exercise – more of a Bible study than a conversation with Christ. And he is liable to give himself credit for any advancing.
(Cholerics and Mental Prayer)
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Thank you, Kelly, for hosting Seven Quick Takes.
Any new visitors can enter the book giveaway through the weekend. I hope to wrap it up early next week. It all depends on when this phlegmatic-melancholic can recover enough to get it done!